Everybody was kung fu fighting…….ha! Vietnam

Vietnam is surprising “easy” to travel in. Perhaps too easy! There are so many organised tours and buses, that if not careful, your whole time here could potentially turn into one big, extended tour! Tam Coc, although only a couple of hours south of Hanoi, is no exception, and is definitely a popular day trip from Hanoi. Not to be deterred, the aim was to do it ourselves!

Before we knew it, we were in Ninh Binh, which is the jumping off point for Tam Coc, which has been poetically coined, “Halong Bay on the rice paddies”. After finding a place to stay, we took a stroll around town. With not many foreigners around, it was a great place to watch the locals. We found a food market and had a bit of a wonder as well as doing some food shopping. Bargaining is tough in Vietnam, and you really have to bargain viciously for everything…whilst keeping a smile on your face. In that way no-one loses face. This can become really tedious, and after so many months of travelling, at times, downright boring! We’d heard about it, we’d talked about it, we were told it was true, and we finally saw it for ourselves! I did a take two, as I walked past the meat section in the market (which I usually try to avoid)…..was that a dog’s head I saw? Yep! Rover today, dinner tomorrow! Jokes aside, dogs are not bred in Vietnam for food, and pretty much any dog is fare (or is it fair!) game! I couldn’t believe it when I told Alex, and he said that he hadn’t seen it. Them, actually, as there were a few! So, as discreetly as the only two foreigners in the market could, we walked past to take another look! Yep, definitely Rover!

The next day, we hired some bicycles and cycled the 10 kilometres out to Tam Coc, which was, expectedly, absolutely full of tourists. After purchasing our tickets, we proceeded to the dock, from where either one or two people take you out in a small boat, down a gorgeous river, culminating in some spectacular caves. As we looked around, whilst breathtaking, we could also see the work going on to make it look……well, more like Disneyland! Shouldn’t be long now folks! The essential Tam Coc experience is to sit back and be rowed through the Ngo Dong River, culminating in three caves, and a hard sell to rival the Mormons! Whilst, yes, it was spectacular, and watching the karst peaks jut out of rice paddies whilst riding along a serpentine river did not fail to impress, it’s the part at the end that I found most “enjoyable”. Lonely Planet refers to the scam as the “Tam Coc Tango”. We knew it was coming, as we had heard about it and were prepared for it! Read on! It begins with boat vendors following you and urging you to “buy drink for madame” (after paying a ridiculous price for the drink, and offering it to the”madame” who is rowing your boat, “Madame” then sells it back to the vendor and makes a nice little sum). Despite being asked several times, we stood firm, and said no! (whilst watching the multitude of other tourists buying their rowers both drinks and snacks). As the others bought copiously, and our rowers could see that we were not going to buy, we started to make our way back to the starting point. Time for hard sell number two! A mystery chest seemed to appear out of nowhere, and out they came a-rolling…..t-shirts, embroidered tablecloths, hats and a number of other things. We continued to say no politely several more times. Whilst firm in our resolve, it did distract from the surroundings around us! Option two fatigued, they went for the jugular, a manoeuvre they hoped would work, as by this point we were over it…….”tip please”! We had considered it, but they blew it when they asked, and asked, and asked, and asked! I think perhaps the Mormons would have been more lenient!

We virtually ran off the boat, and waved goodbye! After picking up our bikes, exactly where we had parked them, close by, we took a few hours to cycle around the immediate area. With virtually no tourists, this was a spectacular way to see how the people live and work in their environment. The locals were harvesting rice, and the husks were all around us, and indeed on many occasions, we had to cycle over them. It was not a problem for them, and so it was not a problem for us! We got a lot of stares and “sin jows” (hellos), which is always beautiful. We cycled through rice fields, and saw little wooden houses, where people lived in basic living conditioners; we saw people working the fields; we saw little pagodas without another human in sight; we saw children playing; we saw temples. We went to another bigger pagoda, called Bich Dong. It’s a cave pagoda, and quite popular amongst the Vietnamese, but it was the scenic road winding through rice fields, hemmed in by karsts, and ending in a dusty village, which I felt to be the highlight. On the way back to Ninh Binh, we stumbled upon another cave pagoda. To reach it, we had to walk up an outdoor stairway for about fifteen minutes, but what a rewarding view! This time we got a sea of karst peaks from up high!

The next day, we took a couple of bikes again and decided to cycle around the countryside. It proved to be one of our favourite days in Vietnam. We cycled along rivers that were at times wide, and at others thin. We cycled far enough that we were without a doubt the only foreigners in sight. We cycled on roads, we cycled on dirt tracks, and at times we cycled on tracks so narrow that they were more like railings! Again, mind blowing scenery coupled with the locals living their lives continued to present us with the lessons one learns from the University of Life. We seem to complain about such trivial things when these people do it hard! Really hard! The women, despite their small stature, haul everything from bags of rice to barrels of water. The kids aren’t doing a bad job either! Child labour? No! Kids helping the family in order to eke out a very, very, very humble living!

Unfortunately, a little scuffle broke out as Alex and I were waiting to catch the bus to Hue, which originated in Hanoi. It was supposed to arrive at 9.30pm but did not arrive until well after 10.30pm. A couple of guys from the hotel we were staying at, walked us to the main road, which is where the bus would pick us up from. It finally arrived, and as we were getting on we recognised a Dutch couple we had met in Hanoi. We were telling them about the nice place we had stayed in in Ninh Binh, and then the owners proceeded to give them some details. In the middle of their conversation, another “seller” (from some downtown hotel) steps between them, and starts his blurb on his hotel! My response to this was to ask him to move away and give the couple a chance to chat to the other people first. He looked at me and continued his rude and brash behaviour! I was really taken aback, and the other couple obviously overwhelmed, so I stepped up rather closely and told me he was an “anus” (the word has been changed so as not to offend!), after which I proceeded to place my large backpack in the luggage compartment of the bus. Having said my bit, I thought it was all over! Oh no! This guy gets right up close, surpassing all boundaries of personal space, and starts abusing me. I was taken aback! Not sure exactly what ticked him off – me calling him an “anus” or the couple not taking him up on his offer of a place to stay! Why had I opened my mouth in the first place? Because he was being aggressive and a bully….and I don’t like bullies! What ensued was something along these lines: I told him to get the f!*?k out of my face or he would have to choose between a hospital or a police station, to which he became a little bit too touchy feeling……well, for Alex, anyway! What Alex did next stunned even me….he bellowed out, “Get your f!#?$!g hands off my wife”, which he gracefully followed through with a beautifully executed kick, smack bang in the centre of his chest! In the next few seconds, it was on for young and old; Alex had fallen on his back as he’d lost his balance, whilst the irate Vietnamese man was trying to rip some bamboo off a fence close by and clobber one or the both of us! Was I scared? No! Well, OK, a tad! Was I furious? Like, yeh!!!!! Nobody touches or threatens me! And if I cannot deal with it, or need a helping hand, Alex is by my side. The guy kept hurling abuse and telling us that HE would call the police! Yes, I repeat, that HE would call the police. Yep, we’ve got a hero here that’s few cans short of the proverbial six-pack! This is another one of those stories that I will happily go into on my return home. But it will cost you….a coffee or two!

Time to jump on the bus! I do not think it’s appropriate here to mention my exact parting words, but I proudly and defiantly gave him the one finger salute! And with my hand high in the air, the doors closed and the bus took off! It was dark, but I could see his red and angry face! My system was pumping with adrenaline, as it had been a long day (as we had cycled some 40 kilometres), and an even longer night. The sleeper bus could not have been any more inviting! Luckily, here in Vietnam, the sleeper buses are a little wider, longer and more comfortable than their Chinese counterparts. We settled in, and we were soon asleep…..physical and mental exhaustion!

NOTE: I have decided that there is actually something that I loathe more than arrogance and rudeness (I despise both equally), and it’s called complacency! HOW does the world change if we all sit back and watch without doing anything! I will not shut-up, and I will not be silenced and my voice WILL be heard!

“I agree 100%, the worst thing we can do is nothing. By not voicing our opinions we accept injustice not just for ourselves but for others. Many do not have the opportunity to voice their feelings, it is up to people like you to be courageous and yell until they are heard. I also know that if it was a popularity contest, we would be in the back seats by now!

Thanks, Annie. We love you too! And I promise that I will NEVER stop screaming!

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